When my Mom worries...

I used to feel secure, when most parents nagging their daughter to marry, my parents were so cool, they never push me. They knew exactly why i hadn't thought about it.

Well actually, at the age of 24 I've ever had an idea to marry. hmmm... It might be naturally came out of young woman mind, at that age. But my biggest concern at that time was my education. I've just graduated and only worked for several months, all i want is continue my education to be a pediatrician. So, i rejected a man who asked me to marry and choose another person who consider marriage but not in an immediate time, 2-3 years he said. The first person end up married to someone else a few months after that, so did the second man, in a couple years after that, not to me but to someone else. I got several proposal that i rejected because i think i need someone who would support me through my difficult time during residency program. Most of the man said, "don't worry i'll provide enough money for you", well for me that was insulting. It seems like they didn't appreciate how i worked so hard and diligently saved every penny (rupiah) that i got, for my education. Seriously, money is important, but that wasn't the most important thing. I was an independent young woman whose ego was hurt because of those statement. All I need is a kind smart person, who would appreciate my hard work, and be there for me, through good and bad time, discussing good matters that entertain me. No need to worry for my financial condition, because i'm capable to provide enough. 

The independent condition brought me further from marriage life. I used to do almost everything by myself, and able to create happiness on my own. I was happy, until my mom suddenly concerned for my single status. Hahahahaaa... (this happened since my best friend marriage, should i blame her??)

She called me home and the conversation just happened. I told her how my life was, how i handled everything concerning my education, my career, and my health. Everything was fine, well arranged, and i felt good about it. She responded in an encouraging comment, as always, and suddenly add a question "what about your love life?" All i could say was no one, i had no love life, this a, b,c man end up left me because bla..blaa..blaaa... She just nodded and said "you should stop thinking about your education, don't put it on the first place, think about your age and how you should have been married at this age. Remember your biological clock tickling.... I know you do good saving someone else, but consider yourself too. Life is not just about achieving good career, it's also about your own life, your marriage. Think about it please"

My mother never said such a thing to me. I told her every stories, but she never concerned about marriage, not at all, she was cool (i thought). 

I was on a good track, went out with a good man, had a good talk, but as always, i mess it up. Did i still the independent (no more young) woman who derail myself from a way to good marriage life? I don't know. I've never been so concerned with finding a man to the point where i put it on the first priorities list. Neither wish to be a single forever. 

But i don't want to be proactive about it, i think my mother is on the same thought. She just want that someday (immediately) a man found me good enough and ask me to go out then marry me, that i'll be happier and live better. I guess....

She never push, she gave suggestion, a suggestion that i couldn't stop think about it since.